Lubos Tomicek

writer ~ mental health advocate ~ blogger ~ debater ~ logician

The family is a cornerstone of a functional society

And I messed it up…

Upfront, before I will present the evidence supporting the statement, that it’s functional family, which is a cornerstone of functional society, let me confess, that I myself violated the principles I now came to defend.

While before I knew logically, that family is a good thing, it wasn’t a part of my core, my deeply rooted beliefs. Knowing is not the same as living. Therefore, I have been unfaithful to my wife on many occasions and at the end I decided to abandoned her and my three kids for life with another women and her kids.

Causing pain

It caused them an immense amount of pain, which now I am able to only anticipate. I have hurt people, who didn’t deserved it, I betrayed their trust and their love. It will stay as one of my many regrets. If I would be able to return back in time, with the wisdom I now posses, I wouldn’t make this choices. Unfortunately, what I did cannot be undone.

My decisions were careless, regardless of the reasons leading to them, be it my immaturity or my mental illness (bipolar disorder – see the Mental Health section for more info). Those decisions inflicted painful wounds on all of us. Our kids, my wife and myself.

Now I understand

For those, who want to argue, that I have no right to advocate the importance of family, given, that I myself did not uphold them; look at the example of former drug addicts. We wouldn’t say to a former drug addicts, who are spreading the message about dangers of drugs, that it is inappropriate for them to talk about it. We cheer them, because we know, that their experience is the reason, why they understand the damage caused by drugs having it experienced first hand.

The same applies here. The fact, that I went through the destruction caused by flaunting the principle of functional family, I can understand better the devastating impact of dysfunctional family in deeper way, than those who didn’t.


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